for CCHS Grads, Magic and Dartmouth GREEN

Many in Concord, Ma spent the weekend thanking teachers because its senior class graduated over the weekend. The CCHS Class of 2016 received their diplomas on a New Moon, and I chaperoned "All Night Live" from 11:45 pm to 3:15 am. I ran the raffle table with Wendy Grannis Page until 2:30 am when I had the honor of holding the Limbo Stick.

I AM going to find the name of the winner and post it because anyone who watched with, knows he was certainly a magician the way he slithered under the stick.

Before I left, I attended the drawing for the $500 cash Grand Prize and $300 Bose Headphones. I had a bit of a vested interest since I gave advice all night long. "Envision winning!" "Believe it to see it!" "BElieve in Magic, Harry Potter Style!" as they put their tickets into the Potions and Spells pot.

One boy had me kiss his ticket for good luck, and a few others offered bribes with a cut of the winnings, including Evan Maione who called me Mrs. Cappetta, bringing back my own teaching days at Fenn. Little did they know that neither Wendy, nor I were not going to be the ones to draw the ticket. That was Karla Silas Slade's job.

The winning number for the Bose Headphones was 280, but I don't know the winner's name. I thought it was pretty cool, though, since my birthday is 28. Just some fun play with numbers.

On my way to ALN I realized that I hadn't changed my t-shirt since I'd been packing and moving all day, so I arrived in my Green Dartmouth t-shirt, not as old as freshman fall, but certainly old, looking a bit more like a graduate than a chaperone. When they called Carmen Braceras' name for the Grand Prize, I smiled. Guess who is headed to the Big Green in the fall?

Believe in Miracles. That's what I've been saying lately. Just believe to see.

"Believe" in the power of prayer, love and friendship. If we love fully enough to let go of the existing paradigms of what we know, we might just be able to ignite a shift. What kind of shift? A shift in energy in the atmosphere Shakespearean style enough to neutralize cancer. To calm anxiety and soothe depression. To ignite world peace. Or should I add Chaucerian style. Jim Killian style.

Who is Jim Killian? He was my favorite English teacher at Piedmont High School, as well as Ann Reynolds best friend when she taught at PHS. He made English come alive with the "Literature of the Grotesque" including "Goodman Brown" by Hawthorne, "Portrait of An Artist as a Young Man" by James Joyce, and "The Turn of the Screw" by Henry James.

Standing on his podium, he dramatized these stories with narrations as good as Alan Cummings! I can hear Mr. Killian's voice in my head, reciting Chaucer's words as if it were yesterday,

"Whan that April, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And batherd every veyne in swich licour,
Of which veru engendred is the flour;

Marty Lempres, Kaz Lawler and I were all in Mr. Killian's AP English class. We were 3 college seniors who had applied to Dartmouth early decision, thus I felt fierce competition with my brilliant classmates. It never occurred to me that we could all get in Early. I later learned that Marty knew of my acceptance to the Class of 1984 long before I did. His swimming coach told him there were 3 accepted students, including a girl.

I was the only girl who had applied, and my parents thanked God the day they found out because it was if the granite of NH was already in my veins, most likely the minute I was born, I wanted to go to Dartmouth that badly! Since the day I saw Tom Witter in his Green Dartmouth jacket sophomore year at a PHS Football game. Just ask Carolyn Baxter, Mary Alice Sullivan McNeil and Juliet Settlemier Ivey

Or perhaps it was a past life thing. Believe in Magic. Just saying!

Congratulations Carmen and others from the Class of 2016 going to Dartmouth including my great friend Max Gomez '19. It is a special and unique place, made even more special because I share it with my brother, Jake Reynolds '90.

p.s. I AM so grateful that I bridge the 83-84-85 classes with Amy Schroth,Patty Shepard, Laura Vail Wooster, Cindy Bergman MacManus, Neal Hesler, and my former Fenn student BRett Andrews Charlie Wolff and I could go on... but won't.

for Anne Lamott, Shelves Brimming with Books, and Forgiveness

I think I am in good company when I say, "I am grateful for Anne Lamott." I also think others would agree when I say, "I love her as if she were my best friend." She speaks a language I relate to in my darkest moments along with my most joyful ones. I love Pema Chodron and Philip Pullman and Mary Oliver and Jack Kornfield and Deepak Chopra and I could go on as I look at my bookshelves brimming with books from all walks of my life: young adult literature, yoga and meditation, poetry, South Africa, entrepreneurial change agents, the promise and peril of technology, the reading and writing life, learning creativity, raising daughters, and the separate bookshelf, the wall of my spiritual journey books.

Why do I place Anne first? Because Anne hones in on the hard stuff. Pema does too, but she's a 79 year-old Buddhist nun who doesn't have many flaws left to unfurl. That's not saying that she didn't have them at some point, but she lives as a nun now, often in silent meditation away from the world. She's not like the average human being bumping into the harsh realities of secular life the way the rest of us are. As I think about it though, my first introduction to Pema was reading her book When Things Fall Apart eight years ago as a recently divorced and subsequently single mom. Pema wasn't always calm and non-reactive, as I learned when she described going from neighbor to neighbor after her husband left her, wildly swinging a frying pan, questioning why bad things happened. She is known to have exhibited some lunacy. And so have I.

A friend sent me a recent interview with Anne Lamott who said, "Earth is forgiveness school. I believe that's why they brought us here, then left us without any owner's manual. I think we're here to learn forgiveness" When I read those words, I felt a chill run through my veins. I felt the energy move from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head, a wave of prana moving through my body though I wasn't in a yoga pose. As we near the end of 2014, I've begun to think about a ritual I've done with a group of friends each year in the past.

Before I continue, I want to stop and share my gratitude for this wonderful group, Jeanine, Carolyn, Melissa, Mary, and Emily. We disbanded only because our schedules made it impossible to meet, as we've all gone back to school or work of some type or other, but as I say this, I predict we'll find a time to meet, at least once a month. More than a few years ago we came together to read Eckert Tolle's Practicing the Power of Now. We'd have lunch on Friday afternoons and read the book out loud as we all learned about meditation, presence and the Power of Now. This group changed my life because I learned the discipline of the practice that can only happen if we practice. We can know about meditation and mindfulness. We can understand the concepts of presence and being here now, but it's the experiential that teaches us. We went on to read a different book each year. Books that taught us a practice, and Sarah Susanka's "Year End Ritual" from The Not So Big Life asks one to consider all types of questions about the year with the goal of setting intentions that become a direction for the next year.

So why did my veins run cold? I've been focused on 2015. I know that 2015 is the year of ABC Legacy, my fledgling new endeavor to create the In the Gap program for those who have deferred college or are taking a break from formal studies in college. I have a blog entry ABC Legacy 2015. I see 2015. I'm excited about 2015. I know I won't be traveling to California as much because I'll be working here, but I plan to be a teaching fellow in Johannesburg at the African Leadership Academy the summer of 2015. I could go on about 2015, but in reading Anne's words, I realized that I haven't been practicing the power of now. I have been in the future, excitedly in the future, but as the year begins to close, I need to come back to 2014. My year of forgiveness. 

Anne says, "Forgiveness has become a pursuit more important to me than almost anything Because as I said in an old book, it's not my strong suit. I always joke that I wasn't one of those Christians who was heavily into forgiveness - that I was the other kind; that I was reform. But it's so awful to be a person who doesn't forgive; in my experience the willingness to change down deep always comes from the pain of not changing."

I need to repeat this last line: "But it's so awful to be a person who doesn't forgive; in my experience the willingness to change down deep always comes from the pain of not changing." Most of us have something in our lives, something that we feel is "unforgivable," but I've learned, now, that everything is forgivable. It has to be because energy needs to flow through us, unobstructed, and it is our work to loosen those obstacles until we can breathe them free. 

Forgiveness in 2014 did not come easily, and I attacked the unforgivable as an emotional cancer. I meditated on forgiveness, almost obsessively. I went to some amazing intuitive healers: Marie Cornelia, Linda Manning, Lisa Campion, Jocelyn, Laura Graye, and Maria Skinner who explained things from an astrological viewpoint. Why did I meet with them? I wanted to forgive and during a retreat in Esalen in Big Sur, CA on October 16, 2014, I forgave, which opened the door to forgiving myself, which was harder, but necessary.

Why was it mandatory, in my mind, to forgive? I wanted to feel better, freer, clearer and more loving. I want to live an authentic life, in integrity, and stuck energy like the inability to forgive keeps us from living that life. I had a practical reason, too. I want to bring ABC Legacy to the world in 2015. Some say my long term plans are a bit grandiose, but I like to dream big. I envision In the Gap programs all over the world, housed in innovation centers like Wheelhouse and the Bradford Mill Community, where teens and 20s in every country learn that they can have a positive impact on their world, to have opportunities to work with mentors, people in all types of careers who speak of their passions either in their work, their service, or both. People who have, as I say quite frequently in Howard Thurman's words, "People who have come alive."

But I can't do this alone, and I can't do it with bitterness or anger lingering within an unforgiving heart. Not just for ABC Legacy, but for every aspect of my daughters' and my lives. I want to be able to authentically live Gandhi's words. I want to be the change, and my dream to "be the change" can only happen with a forgiveness that becomes a daily practice.

Forgiveness changed my life, and it wasn't until reading Anne's words in this article today that I realized just how much. Like the story about the Buddha, I used to hold a hot coal in my hand, burning myself, rather than forgiving and letting it go. By forgiving, I let go of that hot coal, and now have both hands open and free to write, practice yoga, collaborate with the younger generations and serve the world.

for Friends, TED Talks, Rivers and "Coming Alive"

Today I am grateful for entrepreneurial friends and family, TED talks, and Rivers and Revolutions.

One of my favorite activities in creating my In the Gap program is talking to different family, friends, colleagues, experts and acquaintances about their ideas. My friend John Boynton said, “Your mission is going to change a little bit each day.” Many friends, too numerous to count, have said, "Focus. Focus. Focus," and my friend Revell Horsey wrote in response to my Teens and Technology blog entry,

"Thank you for sharing the Michael Mulligan article and your response. I agree with much of what Michael says although I think the key question that young people (and old!) need to ask themselves is "Why?" Why am I doing what I am doing? The "Why" leads to the meaning of purpose in life. We are almost maniacally focused on What we do rather than Why we do. When I work with social entrepreneurs the point of departure for me is to ask them to describe the Purpose of their organization. Almost without fail they launch into a response that describes What they do, but not Why the do it. Simon Sinek gave a Ted talk a few years ago on the importance of Purpose which is one of the top 10 views Ted talks."

As I watched Simon speak again, for I’ve seen this talk with Paul Caliandro (another entrepreneurial friend) many times, I realized that I had not asked myself this question, “Susan, why are you doing what you’re doing?” In his talk, Simon says briefly, “Why do you get out of bed in the morning?” But then I think, “How do I get out of bed in the morning?” and what does this say about why I do what I do? Do I jump up, ready to greet the day, ready to engage in all that life has to offer? Or, do I lie in bed, hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep until the last moment possible, in avoidance of what’s to come? These seem like two extremes, which they are, and they are the two extremes I have seen in myself at different stages in my life, and it is what I’ve seen with my daughter.

Traditional school has not been easy for her, but she’s persevered through some difficult times, always staying the course. When she started Rivers and Revolutions this past September, I expected her to enjoy it, but I did not anticipate the manner in which she would greet the day. She gets up each morning, happy to get out of bed at 6:15 am, and engage in what I’ve termed, the Rivers Way. I’m sure Michael Goodwin has been asked why he does what he does, why he created the Rivers and Revolutions experience the way that he did. And like the title of the TED Talk, "How Great Leaders Inspire Action," Michael follows Simon's successful model from the Why to the How to the What, from the Inside Out.

Which leads me to my question, why do I do what I do? Why do I jump out of bed in the morning? Why do I want to help kids find their passions? Why do I want kids to think about why they do what they do? It circles back once again to the Howard Thurman quotation, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." So, in thinking about coming alive, isn't that what happens when you wake up and jump out of bed in the morning to greet the day? Haven't you woken up to come alive? 

Thus why do I do what I do? I do what I do because I want to inspire teens and 20s, the Millennials, to find their passions and come alive. From there everything else will follow (with some direction and discipline). They will find life worthwhile and meaningful, so much so that they anticipate what is to come in their future. But not only that, they want to make the world a better place. They want to make a difference. They dare to disturb their universe (TS Eliot). At least that is my intention, and I've studied quantum physics enough to know that our thoughts really do help create our reality. We can believe it to see it. I am so grateful for wanting to jump out of bed each morning (and life hasn't always been like this for me) because this Present moment Passionate Purpose makes me feel alive.

for Julia Butterfly's Passion for Luna

Olivia, my daughter, created a memorial to Julia Butterfly Hill in Rivers and Revolutions, a wonderful experiential interdisciplinary course at Concord Carlisle High School. Their assignment was to create a memorial to someone they admired, and Olivia's group chose Julia after learning about her as an environmentalist. When Olivia sent me the picture of their tribute, memories came flooding back.

Olivia told her group that Julia is my friend, but she wasn't sure many believed her. I responded that Julia is not just my friend, she is my hero, and I am so grateful to know her. She's the real deal. She talks the walk, as she walks the talk, in an inspiringly authentic manner. She's taught me so many valuable lessons both in conversation and through her writing in The Legacy of Luna and her blog entries. One of her many nuggets is,

"Only once we let go of all we know, including our self-centered concerns, and break free of the cocoons we spin around ourselves to shut out the world can we become the truly beautiful being we were meant to be,"(121).

We met in 2007 at a yoga retreat in Costa Rica led by Seane Corn, Ashley Turner and Suzanne Sterling. Julia was another participant, though she often runs her own retreats. For those of you who do not know Julia, she lived in Luna, a Redwood Tree, for over two years in order to save Luna's life, but she did not set out to do this. She joined a group and volunteered to spend some time in Luna, but she fell in love with Luna which led her on a remarkable journey of passion and service. I can envision the moment I read the following passage in her book. I was on the beach in Costa Rica sitting on my favorite log after swimming in the warm ocean waters, floating on my back looking up into the sun filled sky feeling the first contentment and peace since my husband and I had separated more than a year before.

Julia was in many storms when she lived in Luna because it was the time of El Nino in the 90s. At one of her breaking points and moments of despair, she began to hear a voice.

"The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go," continued the voice. "Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break. Learn the power of the trees. Let it flow. Let it go. That is the only way you are going to make it through this storm. And that is the way to make it through the storms of life," (112).

What a powerful lesson in flexibility and uncertainty as opposed to rigidity and certainty. In many ways it initially feels scarier to live in the unknown, but I can speak from experience that it gets easier and more comfortable, such that the known becomes almost dull and uninspiring. Whenever I do tree pose in a yoga class, I think of Julia. As my foot wobbles back and forth and my body sways making little adjustments to balance, I remember the words Julia heard in Luna, whether they were God, Luna or Julia's intuitive self, it doesn't matter. I believe they are all the same.

In tree pose, I also remember Julia's most important words to me. After Costa Rica I went on another retreat, this time co-led by Julia and Seane. It was a yoga and service retreat at Omega, and I was like a dog with a bone seeking my purpose. How could I connect my yoga to service. How could I take my passion for my yoga on the mat Off the Mat and Into the World. I had so many ideas, and many of them involved helping teens find their passions and connect it to service. These were the seedlings for ABC Legacy back in 2007.

When I get excited about something, I talk fast. I zoom ahead into the future. I see things, and I don't always take the time to translate what I see into a vision that others can understand. Julia said to me, in a lovingly stern manner, "Susan! Slow down! You have information humanity needs. But you have to find the space and silence in order to speak so we understand." I do go fast. I do zoom ahead into the future. I do see it, and it's been Julia's words that I've used as a mantra to try and use my yoga and meditation to slow down, move into the space and silence to find the words so other's understand what I know to be true. What I see to be true.

Thus, when I am in tree pose I envision the tree with the roots going deep into the Earth, so that my wings as branches can reach to the sky. Root to Rise are cues I give during Sun Salutations, and those words come back to the wisdom Julia imparted. In essence, Julia's passion for Luna inspired me to ask myself, "What's my tree? Who or what is my Luna?" I realize now that I am passionate about helping teens and 20s, the Millennials find their own passions, their own Luna. So, in deep gratitude, "Thank you Julia."